Amazon fails – floral themed party dresses

I am headed to Austin next week for Shine (Noonday’s annual conference) and I got super excited when they sent out the details for the awards dinner/dance party.

Theme: A Night in Antigua – Dine and dance the night away in your floral prints, vibrant hues, bold Noonday jewels, and tropical textiles as we toast to a world-changing 2019!
Fun dress, party cocktail.

I immediately got on Amazon and started looking for ballgowns with floral motifs and ended up ordering TWELVE! I’m showing you 9 misses today. One of them is still a distant maybe if the plunge adhesive bra I ordered works out, and two of them were actually gorgeous but too small.

Alright, onto the dresses! I love a good expectation vs. reality photo, but I gotta say, it’s a little embarrassing when it’s a photo of me as the reality, haha! Most of these dresses were not terribly flattering..

Women’s Tunic Dress with Embroidered Floral Mesh Bishop Sleeve

This was the least tropical and while it fit fine and looks decent it was just not fun or “me”. I am wearing a large and it fits great.

Women’s Double V-Neck Tulle Appliques Long Evening Cocktail Gowns

I should have known I wouldn’t like this in person. I am extremely picky about lace and embroidery and in person this did not do it for me. Felt dated and cheap. I am wearing a 14 (in this kind of formal gown you typically need to size up, I am usually a 10/12).

Women’s Floral Ruffle Off Shoulder Party Sexy Bodycon Dress

This was SO unflattering in person! It was tight and showed my belly big time. Maaaaybe it would have worked if I had sized up? I am wearing a large. I really liked this off-the-shoulder design, it was designed to stay put. I did NOT like the fabric, it was that cheap old-school polyester.

Stylish Chiffon V-Neck Printed Floral Maxi Dress with Waisted Belt 

Ha! This one makes me laugh. It’s terrible and also not terrible. It is a little big on me in a large, so maybe a medium would have been better, but overall it was just TOO loud, and too matronly (minus that v-neck).

Sexy V-Neck Dress Floral Cocktail Bodycon

Oh boy, I do not have the right bra or the right boobs for this! It was also too tight (wearing a medium, should have gotten a large or XL) and cheap polyester.

Off Shoulder Ruffle Party Homecoming Maxi Dress

This is a little better in the photograph than in real life. It’s cheap polyester, the off-the-shoulder doesn’t stay off the shoulder, it came with a tie belt and has sewn on belt loops on each side that don’t look good, and it’s unflattering on my tummy area.

2-Piece Floral Printed Long Formal Ball Gown with Pockets

This one has SO MUCH potential. It fit (I sized up to a 14) but I would need to have at least the shoulder straps altered (too long) and the length altered (waaay too long). I really do think it’s a beautiful gown!

Women’s Chiffon Floral Beach Maxi Dress

Now onto the hilarious! This one was SO not cute on me. Giant mumu with a cheap belt to try to reign it in. Fit wise, I got a large tall and it was fine.

Bodycon Floral Strapless Evening Gown with Mesh Lace Cover

I mean, again with this I should have known what I was getting into. Plus it’s currently only $10.99. Obviously I won’t be leaving my bedroom in this thing. I got an XL and overall it fit fine, but please don’t buy it (haha!).

And that’s that! Hope you at least got a giggle out of it!

Disclosure: the links in this post are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. You can read more about that here. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to follow along as I blab about fashion, being a mommy and more!

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